Menstruation & The Art of Letting Go
We do not live in a society that currently honors the menstrual cycle. Let’s just name that first. However … there is a rising movement to deconstruct the taboos associated with the female body’s journey from menarche(first period) to menopause and beyond and to reclaim this aspect of humanity as a wise gift that has the potential to teach us important life lessons. I love being a part of the movement to shift the paradigm.
The menstrual cycle reminds us that nature moves in cycles and that we ourselves are cyclical beings. We naturally expand and contract and this pulsation happens in a cycle. No matter what gender you are, I believe this to be true of all humans. But menstruating bodies are a beautiful reminder to us all.
I find it to be a comforting certainty that we live in cycles because there is always a chance to come around again. So much worry can be dissolved as a result of tuning in to this awareness.
I am learning to trust the cyclical nature of my being and my life. And yet, in my personal experience, it is especially hard to access this trust during the menstruation phase of my body’s monthly cycle. Menstruation naturally asks me to let go. My body is literally shedding and releasing and it is also requiring more rest to do the work of detoxification. Physically I feel tired, mentally I feel cloudy, and spiritually I feel like retreating. This is my personal experience and I know it to be true for many menstruators.
But the need to rest and let go is an interruption to the momentum that most of us are used to carrying in our busy lives. How can we afford to put on the brakes? And in a world that encourages us to be more like linear beings, constantly doing and engaging, there are all kinds of reasons why letting go seems totally against the grain; even daunting. To choose to listen to one’s physical, mental~emotional, and spiritual needs at the time of menstruation may bring up linear mindset questions like:
If I stop and rest, will I be able to get back up again?
If I let my mind turn off, will I ever think clearly again?
If I set aside the list of obligations, will I ever get it all done?
If I step away from my responsibility to care for others, will they be ok? Will I still be of value?
If I let go of participating in my community, will I ever have an opportunity like that again?
These are all very real questions and concerns to have in our modern times when met with the inner invitation from the body, mind, and spirit to let go during menstruation. I believe there is a need for great compassion with ourselves when this completely understandable tension arises. (See below for self-compassion & creating safety tips)
Even though I feel the stress of the above questions and concerns time and time again, I am becoming so grateful that each month I am given the opportunity to practice the art of letting go during the menstruation phase.
What a gift. What a life skill to know how to let go. There is freedom and ease on the other side of letting go. Usually it is the grip of holding on too tightly that keeps me from enjoying the natural, cyclical flow of life.
Each month as I negotiate with my resistance, I discover another layer of what it means to TRUST that everything is going to work out if I honor my cyclical needs; if I honor the natural cycles of life. I know this monthly practice is preparing me for greater moments of letting go … perhaps one day watching my kids leave the nest, approaching a personal identity shift like menopause or retirement, saying goodbye to loved ones passing, and even facing my own death.
I give thanks to my incredible menstrual cycle as it offers me the deeply challenging yet freeing work of surrender, trust, and release.
If you experience a lot of fear or resistance to the idea of honoring your needs at menstruation time, here are a few suggestions for how to be compassionate with yourself. These tips may help bring you a sense of SAFETY when experimenting with this practice. Safety is a very necessary component if one is to feel genuinely willing and comfortable to let go, right?
Take baby steps and be patient with yourself. Being compassionate means knowing that what’s probably most realistic is to take some small steps each month to ease up on the to-do list, social calendar or community service efforts and just start to test the waters of letting go and trusting that everything will come round again. Honor the tension and your vulnerabilities and take it slow. You have many cycles to practice. Try taking one small action at your menstruation time that represents you practicing the art of letting go and trusting the cyclical nature of things.
Examples: Take one thing off the to-do list, clear one social activity from your calendar, outsource one community service task to someone else, lie down for 5 minutes to intentionally rest, or let yourself stare out the window for 5 minutes without needing to do anything else.
2. Use your imagination to call upon community support. We may feel much safer about letting go if we don’t feel we are doing it in isolation.
Visualization #1: Imagine your community is fully on board with you honoring your menstruation time. In fact, it is so revered, that your community is holding a ritual ceremony for you and any others who are menstruating together. The societal norm in this imagined world is to give people space to retreat, rest, and let go at the time of menstruation, with full collective awareness that as the cycle continues, you will once again re-emerge, feeling renewed after the necessary hibernation time.
Visualization #2: Imagine you are in a cave with a fire burning in the middle. A wise old woman sits in a rocking chair next to the fire. Without saying any words, she smiles at you and gestures for you to sit on a blanket by the warmth of the fire at her feet. She offers you a cup of tea. Then she sings quietly to you and encourages you to let go and rest. All is well. (Borrowed from Miranda Gray’s teachings)
Notice how it feels to have the support of your community or this wise old woman by your side. Both of them are holding and carrying the message for you that it is 100% ok to let go. They are transmitting trust to you. Any time you want to practice letting go during your menstruation phase but feel the tension and fears coming up, call upon these imagined resources and you will be able to more peacefully drop in to your “inner winter” phase of the cycle.
May our amazing menstruating bodies be a guide for all of humanity to practice trusting in cyclical living and learning the art of letting go.
